Sunday, March 14, 2010

Trying to get Pregnant

G and I are trying desperatly to get pregnant this month. I think I am going to go crazy with all the information and all of the things I have been told to do.

I am tracking my BBT, cervical position, cervical mucus (I know TMI, and yuck), using ovualtion predictors, tracking every little headache, muscle twinge, temperature variance, and everything else under the sun on an ovulation calendar, and constantly worrrying we are gonna miss our time span.

I got a +OPK yesterday, -OPK today with a temp dip today, which means I may have missed my ovulation this month or didn’t get it at all.

I spend all of my time reading everything I can to see what it all means, and so far I am just confused and frustrated. Everything keeps telling me to just relax and have lots and lots of sex, and enjoy this time of trying to conceive.

How the hell do they expect you to relax and enjoy this when you have been trying off and on for so long, and your body is screwed up that half the time it doesn’t function right anyway. And now to add the pressure of my body actually acting like it is gonna work this month, and I only have a short window of fertility, and and, and….

I am going fcking nuts with all of this stuff. Whatever happened to the idea of you have sex, you get pregnant, it’s not hard everyone else does it this easy. Getting pregnant is one of the hardest thing any couple can try to do. Even if everything is perfect you only have a 25% chance of it working.

I have no one to share this with and the little voices in my head are screaming at me constantly now. All I want is to have a baby with the man I love, and I can’t seem to get it right. I am so confused about what is going on and what to try and do, and I don’t want to think about it any more, but I can’t stop. Oh the joys of being an addictive personality.

Hopefully soon, some of this will sort itself out, and I can get back to normal. Until then, hugs…..

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Fertility Doctor Appointment

G, and I are trying to have a baby. I am driving him nuts reading everything I can, charting temps, using ovulation predictor kits, agonizing over every little sign. We have been trying for almost 3 years with no luck. I am supposed to have an appointment next week with a fertility doc, but am thinking about canceling it.

Last month out of the blue I ovulated on my own, and think I am heading towards it again this month. Seeing as my body finally seems to want to cooperate with me, I think I may postpone the doctors appointment. So that being said, we are having lots of sex. Unfortunately, I have no wild tales to tell you about it. I have read that if I orgasm it could hinder implantation, so we are keeping things pretty simple. We are trying different positions (pelvis raised etc) that the pregnancy websites suggest to increase our chances.

I will keep you posted on the progress, until then hugs…

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Polycystic Ovaries

I have polycystic ovaries, which makes conception very difficult, and makes life generally frustrating.

It can be very painful at times, which it has been for the past couple of days. I have a doctors appointment next month to have some tests run to see what is going on with my body.

Hopefully they can help us.