Trying to get Pregnant

G and I are trying desperatly to get pregnant this month. I think I am going to go crazy with all the information and all of the things I have been told to do.

I am tracking my BBT, cervical position, cervical mucus (I know TMI, and yuck), using ovualtion predictors, tracking every little headache, muscle twinge, temperature variance, and everything else under the sun on an ovulation calendar, and constantly worrrying we are gonna miss our time span.

I got a +OPK yesterday, -OPK today with a temp dip today, which means I may have missed my ovulation this month or didn’t get it at all.

I spend all of my time reading everything I can to see what it all means, and so far I am just confused and frustrated. Everything keeps telling me to just relax and have lots and lots of sex, and enjoy this time of trying to conceive.

How the hell do they expect you to relax and enjoy this when you have been trying off and on for so long, and your body is screwed up that half the time it doesn’t function right anyway. And now to add the pressure of my body actually acting like it is gonna work this month, and I only have a short window of fertility, and and, and….

I am going fcking nuts with all of this stuff. Whatever happened to the idea of you have sex, you get pregnant, it’s not hard everyone else does it this easy. Getting pregnant is one of the hardest thing any couple can try to do. Even if everything is perfect you only have a 25% chance of it working.

I have no one to share this with and the little voices in my head are screaming at me constantly now. All I want is to have a baby with the man I love, and I can’t seem to get it right. I am so confused about what is going on and what to try and do, and I don’t want to think about it any more, but I can’t stop. Oh the joys of being an addictive personality.

Hopefully soon, some of this will sort itself out, and I can get back to normal. Until then, hugs…..